One of the traits that saints usually have is a healthy distrust of self! Though some may find it odd or even unhealthy, it is not so.
St. Philip Neri prayed, at the beginning of each day, “Watch over me today, Lord, for if you leave me to myself, I will surely betray you!” No one can improve his or her views and behavior without the conviction that God’s guidance and assistance are necessary to acquire healthy and wholesome habits and practices.
Your question is in itself a sign of a healthy attitude which, together with prayer, will surely bear good fruit.
If we do not turn to God’s word for enlightenment nor expand our hearts to include others, we tend to identify our own experience as the best, our way of doing things as what is universally right, our neighborhood as a pleasant one, and even the color of our skin as the only desirable one. But God created a world with many different races and cultures, each of which has its contribution to give to the rich mosaic of humanity.
Immersed in other cultures, I found myself frustrated, wondering why people could not do some things more efficiently or why dinners would take so long.
Eventually, I realized that it was often not a matter of inability but priorities. I was observing people who valued time spent with their loved ones and enjoying the good things of life more than cranking out projects at record speed.
Not only that, but I also realized the beauty of such a cultural value.
Part of the solution, then, would be to cultivate relationships with as wide a variety of people as possible. Rather than avoiding friendship with people who are different, seek to become friends with those who are different. Then we would realize that most differences — especially racial and cultural ones— enrich and educate us.
The more open we are towards people who are different, the less inclined we would be to be prejudiced against them, thus appreciating more their strong points that are different from ours.
That addresses the question of bias, but the other part is just as important, namely avoiding stereotypes. We are not really loving if we treat the other merely in terms of a larger group, pinning expectations on them that have nothing to do with their freedom, but assume that racial or cultural identity yield automatic conclusions.
Such assumptions can even be well-intentioned. I remember someone going out of her way to bring a specific kind of food for another person, thinking that he would automatically love it because of his race.
Cultures are systems of values or preferences that are held in common and do affect personal decisions but do not predetermine them. People are unlikely to feel truly loved when their desires and wishes are merely assumed beforehand without consulting them.
And if that unwitting slight could be hurtful, imagine how destructive it would be to assume that someone is likely to be a criminal or a great student simply because someone who looks like him had committed a crime or was an excellent student.
Each person is unique and should be valued as such.
Msgr. Michael Magee
(Living City, USA)
