ECQ. GCQ. MECQ. MGCQ. It has been 20 months since all these crazy lockdown acronyms have been introduced in our country. The school year was just winding down in March 2020 when life seemed to hit the pause button. Aside from the elderly and persons who are immuno-compromised, the other segment of society hardest hit by the pandemic was the youth, especially those below 18 years old. Only recently have they been allowed outdoors, after a marked decline in COVID cases. However, even with eased restrictions, parents would be hesitant to allow their children to go out if the latter have not been vaccinated. Those from ages 10 to 17 years are active adolescents. So many changes are happening in their bodies and minds in this stage of their life. Social interaction outside of their families is vital for their holistic growth and development. Time moves forward, not backwards: 20 months have passed, and restrictions have taken a toll on children and teenagers. How can we help them deal with their predicament? What does it mean to be “free” for them today?
Going full-on synchronous1 for them for social interaction outside of the family can really stifle so many pent-up emotions and yearnings. And yes, it is understandable for them to feel oppressed with the lockdowns; it is normal. It is also important to understand what freedom means for them, which does not exist if we do not fully grasp their reality, otherwise, they are just captives with a “golden chain.” Freedom is a dream now more than ever.
Under normal circumstances in everyday family life, parents already clash with their children’s unceasing demands for more leeway, directly proportional to their age. With rules of mediation, we parents must try to strike a balance between their desire for freedom and the need to be prudent with potential hazards and risks outside or online. We play an important role in this delicate act of balancing trust with prudence, without overdoing either. We must be careful to avoid excessively clipping their wings but, at the same time, allow room or space for them to commit, and learn from their mistakes.
They may want to express their frustrations over their feeling “chained” or confined to their homes when there is so much more they can do, contribute and learn outside. Freedom can lead them to do something for others without expecting anything in return, or want to be part of a reality that they are free to improve upon. Dialogue and the free exchange of views between adults and young people lead us closer to a more accurate perception of reality, and with it, a better understanding of freedom and responsibility. Let us create this open space of communications in our family where we, too, become open to their ideas, thoughts, frustrations, and dreams, etc. Let us accompany them on this unique journey.
Lucia e Massimo Massimino with Jenni Bulan
1 Occurring at the same time, and in chat rooms and online conferences
