HomeWORD OF LIFE“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.” (Jn...

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.” (Jn 13:34)

Reciprocity that Creates Real Relationships

Jesus highlights a new aspect of the commandment to love one’s neighbor: reciprocity. In fact, mutual love is what creates the Christian community and makes it stand out.

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.” (Jn 13:34)

Jesus said these words were during the Last Supper. He was at table with his disciples and had just washed their feet. A few hours later, he would be arrested, condemned to death, and crucified. When time is short and the end is near, the most important things are said, and a person leaves his “testament.”

St. John’s Gospel does not give an account of the institution of the Eucharist during the Last Supper. Rather, in its place is the washing of the feet. This sheds particular light on our understanding of the new commandment. Jesus first acts and then teaches, and for this reason, his word has authority.

The commandment to love one’s neighbor was already present in the Old Testament: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev 19:18). Here, however, Jesus highlights a new aspect of this commandment: reciprocity. In fact, mutual love is what creates the Christian community and makes it stand out.

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.”

The roots of this commandment are in divine life itself, in the Trinitarian dynamic in which the Son of God has enabled men and women to share. Focolare founder Chiara Lubich illustrates this by using an image that may help us to understand: “When Jesus came on earth, he did not come from nothing like each of us; he came from heaven. And just as migrants who go to a distant country certainly adapt to their new environment, but also bring with them their own customs and often continue speaking their own language, in a similar way, Jesus adapted to life on earth but – because he was God – he brought the life of the Trinity on earth with him, and that life is mutual love.1

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.”

Here we enter into the heart of Jesus’ message and this takes us back to the newness of life that was experienced in the first Christian communities and which can still be the hallmark of all our groups and associations today. In an environment where reciprocal relationships are a living reality, we understand the meaning of our existence, we find the strength to go on in times of pain and suffering, we are supported in the inevitable difficulties of life, and we experience joy.

We face so many challenges every day: the pandemic, polarization, poverty, and conflict. Let us imagine for a moment what would happen if we were able to put this Word of Life into practice in our daily lives. We would see new opportunities opening up, and the plan for humanity would unfold before our eyes, giving us hope. Nothing is stopping us from reawakening this Life in ourselves and rekindling around us relationships of fraternity that extend throughout the world.

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.”

Marta is a young volunteer who helps prisoners studying for university exams. “The first time I stepped inside the prison, I met people with fears and weaknesses. I tried to build a relationship with them that was first professional but also friendly, based on respect and listening. I soon realized that I was not only helping the prisoners but I myself was also being helped by them. Once, when one of my students was preparing for an exam, someone in my family died, and my student’s conviction was confirmed by the Court of Appeal. We were both very sad. During the lessons, I could see how much pain there was inside him, which he was able to share with me. Bearing the weight of that pain together helped us to move forward. When the exam was over, he came to thank me, saying that he could not have done it without me. Thus, while in my family one life had ended, I felt I had been able to save another. I realized that reciprocity makes it possible to create real relationships of friendship and respect.”2

Letizia Magri


1 C. Lubich, “Mary: The Transparency of God.” New York: New City Press, 2003

2 Cf. http://www.unitedworldproject.org/workshop/unesperienza-al-di-la-delle-sbarre-relazioni-di-cura-reciproca/

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