Why do some people find it easier to seek acceptance and peace from outsiders rather than reconciling with their own family? Can healing truly come with time, or is it just a distant hope? ~ AJN
As I reflected on your questions, some thoughts came to mind, and I would like to share them here. I hope that these may help not only you who asked me the question, but also those who are in a similar predicament.
This question resonates deeply with me, especially when I reflect on Jesus’ teachings about love and forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14 -15, He says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” It’s a powerful reminder that forgiveness isn’t just about others; it’s also about freeing ourselves from the burdens of resentment.
When we hold onto grudges, it’s like trying to hold onto a huge rock – it only weighs us down. But when we choose to forgive and let go, we make room for love, peace, and healing to enter our lives. Jesus showed us that true love and acceptance start at home, with our families. In Luke 15:20, the Prodigal Son’s father welcomes him back with open arms, showing us the depth of God’s love and forgiveness.
As I reflect on my own journey, I realize that family was not always perfect, but they’re the ones who know us best. When we choose to forgive and love them despite their imperfections, we open ourselves up to a deeper sense of healing and love.
And then you also asked: “Can my love for my family not be conditioned by the pain I’ve gone through? Will I just continue believing that I can still love them unconditionally?”
This is a very valid concern. But let me share with you what I read somewhere about “unconditional love”. Here it is: “Unconditional love is when someone hurts you, but because you care about that person so much, you choose not to hurt them in return.”
I know this can be incredibly challenging — it’s like swallowing a bitter pill! But often, it’s just a matter of taking that first step, however small and seemingly insignificant it may be, which is necessary to restore ties with our loved ones.
So, I say, courage, take a deep breath, pray for guidance, and take that first step towards healing. Ask God to soften your heart and give you the courage to reach out. It might be a phone call, a message, or a quiet prayer — whatever feels right for you. Trust that God’s love will guide you, and may His peace be with you every step of the way.
Your courage in raising your concern about difficulties in your family is an important step towards healing in your relationship with them.
Romeo P. Vital
