Starting a family at a distance is impossible. Many, unfortunately, are dragged into this situation, maybe forced by necessity, especially today when work is unstable. Certainly, there are small advantages in long-distance relationships, such as cultivating the desire to see each other again. But then, the resources needed to build up the “us together” are often lost. It becomes easier to be attached to one’s own habits and spaces, and to be faithful to one’s partner becomes more difficult.
To achieve shared intimacy, you also need a common space, built together, wherein the interests and gestures of one blend with those of the other. When you live together, it is easier to look at reality with the eyes of the other, which is a significant advantage because it facilitates a deeper understanding of situations. Besides, life in common is a gym, where you learn to overcome individualism, laziness, the sense of omnipotence.
Therefore, we believe that to grow as a couple, a long-distance relationship must be limited in duration. It is necessary to courageously give up this unstable and risky situation and look for alternative solutions (like a common residence halfway between the workplaces).
If this is not possible, you could have a regular scheduled meeting online not so much to fill the gap of your physical presence but rather to affirm and deepen what is
already an existing relationship. At first, you will feel like you are losing your balance, making your life complicated, but soon your relationship will take a qualitative leap.
Maria and Raimondo Scotto with Fr. Am Mijares
