My mother is suffering from Alzheimer’s dementia. It is difficult enough to grow old, to gradually lose the suppleness, strength and activity of the body, and to perceive one’s organs growing weaker each day. But with her illness, she is also slowly losing her grip on reality. There is a gradual loss of delight in activities she used to enjoy. She forgets how to go about her daily routine, and is slowly failing to remember the people she used to know and love, bit by bit becoming nothing.
During this period, I was able to recognize Jesus abandoned on the cross in my mom, and this has given me a strength I did not know I had, and the joy to take care of her. Every day, I attend to all her needs – preparing her food, bathing her, changing her clothes, and giving her medicine. Patiently, I handle her moods since she usually gets irritated for no reason at all. It is very difficult to make her laugh or smile. So, every morning, I bring her out of the house so that she will have a change of environment. I drive her around or bring her to a nearby mall. Work is set aside to be with her at the moment, while she is enjoying her favorite French fries and Coke. Spending time with her means that I have to work double time the rest of the day. For several years now, I have not gone out with my friends, especially at night, because I have to be with her since she cannot sleep without me by her side. I have only four hours of sleep every day, so every time my birthday comes, and friends ask me what gift I would like to get, I always say I want to sleep. My going on vacation has also been sacrificed because nobody else will take care of her.
These are just some of my little crosses. When Mama was raising me, she had also fed me, bathed me, sang songs to me, brought me along with her to the office when there was nobody left at home to be with me, sacrificed her personal time for me, put up with my “nagging moods” as a child and much more. It is only right that I should do the same for her now that she is unable to take care of herself. Like Mary, who gave her ‘Yes’ to God, and who suffered but stayed with her Son Jesus till the end, I embraced Jesus forsaken on the cross in my mother. In this way, the love I have for my Mama is elevated to a heavenly love. It has also purified me, and given me abounding strength and patience.
Ana Herrera
