The art of listening comes from a profound motivation: whoever is close to me was created as a gift for me; each one has infinite dignity. Therefore, it is essential for a couple to know how to listen to and communicate with one another, to be attentive to the moods of the other (sometimes veiled), to the musicality of the other’s language, to the partner’s joy or suffering. In the Song of Songs, we find a beautiful duet between the lover and the beloved. Her: “A voice …! My love!” Him: “Let me hear your voice because it is sweet.” Rediscovering the voice of the other can make the heart beat with new love.

Being listened to is a profound need, but we cannot demand it from others. We must learn to listen to them first. But how should we do this? By knowing how to be silent, making room within us for the other, and listening with the “heart,” because love refines hearing and also enhances the moments of silence, what remains unspoken, and the frailties of the other. It is also important to choose the right moment to communicate, the right words, and attitudes. Sometimes, the way we speak is more important than words. A voice and a look, filled with tenderness, can encourage the other to a new type of listening.

Sometimes, appearances can also be deceiving. The other may seem unreceptive and indifferent to you, but maybe, in an unexpected moment, he will recall what you said. And then there is that often-used saying: “Actions speak louder than words.” So be attentive to your partner’s actions. Maybe he is not good with words, but would rather express his love in other ways.

Maria and Raimondo Scotto