An opportunity to show kindness

The past can often torture us, due to our own mistakes. As such, intense distress becomes overbearing and it may last for a long time. However, when the past visited me yesterday, it brought me joy I never imagined.

Decades ago, I was together with my friends aged 25-30 when we met a young lady in a youth event where, among other things, we talked about finding meaning in life. At the end of the full-day program, she wrote her impression: “It’s been a good day, but I do not see any meaning in my life; I often think it is better to die. Am I wrong?”

My friends and I felt bothered by this, so we tried to get in touch with her. It turned out that she was living with her relatives, away from her family. Later, we found out that she was undergoing a very negative experience which brought her so much turmoil that she wanted to run away and even hurt herself. Having decided to help her, we arranged to fetch her from the place she was staying and brought her to a hospital connected to a government office for battered and abused women.

For us, it was the first time to actually come face-to-face with this harsh reality. We were indeed shocked, and we feared for her life. In spite of this, we saw in this suffering of humanity an opportunity to be kind and find strength in faith. She stayed with us for a few days until the government hospital admitted her, and she was turned over to a charitable institution that gives shelter and protection to girls at risk. All of this happened in a week and, while we were thanked for saving this girl from further harm, we were advised not to keep in touch with her anymore.

That was 20 years ago. But yesterday, I was surprised to receive a message from her, happy to have found me on social media. She said she had been looking for me and just wanted to assure me she was still alive. She had completed her studies and now lives with her family. She said she has been thankful each day to “the group of girls who helped her a long time ago.”

He may not change, but I have changed

I live in a small subdivision where I served once as the homeowners association president. But the elected treasurer made my term miserable as he openly showed that he didn’t like me. I was often humiliated by his treatment of me. I just finished my term, sad about how it turned out despite my efforts to serve well. My treasurer, however, was eventually appointed as the administrator of the association!

Some months later, however, he suffered a heart attack. As soon as I heard about it, I visited him in the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital. Since I was not allowed inside his room, I just stayed outside right in front of the glass divider for a few minutes. No words were exchanged as we looked at each other, but that visit changed his attitude towards me.

When he recovered, whenever I would need some services from the association, like a carpenter, an electrician, or a plumber, without hesitation, he would immediately send someone. Now, whenever we meet, he would have that ready smile and polite inquiry about how I am. He even endorses some clients to me. We do not mention anything of the past. Before I knew it, he had become one of my most reliable friends.

This experience taught me that to love an “enemy” means also to pray for him. He may not change, but I have changed. I have become more broad-minded and stronger with a deepened interior life. It also taught me to be always open to reconciliation, to be the first one to find an opening and forgive the other.

Compiled by Choie Funk

Originally posted on the Facebook Page “Seamless Lives”