In the course of life, we pass through different stages that are sometimes, brought about by “deadlines” that the calendar signals, like the transition from one year to the next: it’s a motive for celebration, but also one for reflection.
This looking back to see the steps already taken seems to me very positive in itself, and a characteristic of human beings who can check on themselves in order to always move ahead in life. For this, I rejoice with you because, for the first time, the New Year led you to this verification.
I would suggest, however, that you include in your perspective not only negative situations, but also all that you have lived; your successes in your studies or perhaps, your relationships of friendship with others, and you should be aware of the talents you possess.
In order to have a closer and more realistic look at yourself which does not tend to emphasize so much your own virtues or defects, depending on the way you face things, I would suggest that you get help from friends you trust and who know you well: they will be somewhat like a mirror reflection where you can rediscover your true image. You will discover that you are much more than those mistakes you committed which make you feel so heavy.
Each one of us has something more we can give others; and we are a gift for others. Accept the areas in your life that need improvement, and honestly examine yourself. Then focus on how to improve yourself and be more constructive in your relationships with others.
What could also be of help to you is to live well the present moment and not be a slave of time and deadlines. As we all have the abilities, and since you might also have success in your studies, what is important is to do well what you are supposed to do.
This means to allot ample time for your studies, and when this time comes tell yourself to do it totally as if that were the only thing you had to do. This may eliminate the anxiety for the future. The secret is to live each present moment well. When the deadline comes, you know that you will have done your part with great peace.
