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My “Neighbor” in My Brother

After I met the Ideal of Unity, I began to make more effort to really love my brother.

I did not share a loving relationship with my brother while we were growing up. He was older yet I never felt protected by him. What stood out in my memory were the times he physically or verbally maltreated me when we were younger.

Years passed and our circumstances changed. Although I was younger I got into a position of authority in the family as I was more financially secured. He was mostly dependent on others because he never found a stable job. For most of his life, he was not gainfully employed. On the other hand, I was blessed to be in a place where I could help others. Yet, the change in our circumstances did not improve the quality of my relationship with him.

If at all, I was angry at him for always relying on people who were already at an age where they should be looked after and not be heaped with burdens that he should rightfully carry. I was frustrated at him because every attempt I made to help him learn how to fish was turned down. And to a certain extent, I felt shame because I have a brother so far apart from the rest of the siblings.

Often, I berated him in my mind for being lazy and for deserving the miserable life that he had. In my mind, I had written him off as somebody who was unable to change for the better. I felt the wide gap between us.

After I met the Ideal of Unity, I began to make more effort to love my brother. It was difficult at first because he continued to do the things that irritated me like going into my house and using personal stuff without permission. I felt that he was just too familiar and too forward. But I persevered.

I constantly prayed to God to change my heart. I came to understand that I should love him not because he deserved my love but because it was what God wanted me to do.

Little by little, my perception of him changed as well as the way I treated him. I restrained myself from telling him his faults. I made my home more welcoming to him. I hired him to do some errands in my household and paid him more than the usual rate. Every time he faltered, I reminded myself to always consider him and our relationship more important.

Over time, my relationship with him has highly improved. He comes to me to share his experiences at home. Sometimes, I find him waiting for me at the gate as I leave for my work in the morning to tell me about his new work as barangay-tanod.

Recently, he came to me to seek advice as he had a conflict with a relative. I feel that he now considers me an ally and no longer the younger sister who used to put him down. By God’s grace, I see him now with eyes of compassion. And only by God’s love that I am able to love my “neighbor” – my own brother.

F. C

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